How to Talk to Someone with Dementia?

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dementia

Post by Ruth Samer
April 22, 2021

While there are many forms of dementia, it’s a progressive illness that usually causes significant decline in a person's mental abilities or 'cognitive function' – such as our capacity for memory, thinking and reasoning.

Key Communication Tips at a Glance

Be Patient: Allow plenty of time for them to process your words and respond. Don't interrupt if they are searching for a word.
Speak Clearly: Use shorter sentences and simple words. Address one idea or question at a time.
Use Body Language: Maintain warm eye contact, smile, and use gentle touch, like holding their hand, to show you are engaged and help them feel at ease.
Listen Actively: Turn off background noise like the TV. Pay full attention and gently confirm what you think they mean if you're unsure.
Adapt Your Approach: Recognize that communication abilities change. Be prepared to rely more on non-verbal cues as the dementia progresses through its stages.

Over time, the way someone with dementia communicates will change, as they struggle to remember conversations or what they have done recently. This is because the hippocampus in the brain, which takes in new information, becomes damaged. So, this means if you have a family member or know a person with dementia, they may forget conversations or plans they’ve arranged.

It can become really challenging to know how to best talk to someone with dementia, so we’ve put together this guide to help you.

View our Dementia & Alzheimer's In-Home Care Services

Start conversations

As the illness progresses, you might notice that your family member struggles to start or keep a conversation going. So, you could help by starting a discussion. Sometimes the responses will be delayed, so you may need to give the person plenty of time to respond to you.

If a group of people is chatting together, you can encourage them to join in by asking a question related to the topic.

By speaking with shorter sentences, using fewer long words, and taking your time to talk, they’re more likely to be able to follow the conversation.

Using body language

We communicate through body language as well as our words. And you can communicate in lots of different ways through non-verbal communication. For example, if you give eye contact when you’re speaking, your loved one will see that you’re communicating with them, even if they don’t understand all of the words. Using visual cues like facial expressions to show how you’re feeling, especially for someone who is struggling to speak, is also helpful.

Holding your loved one’s hand while they speak can also help them to feel more at ease. Smiling when they talk to you can also show that you’re engaged in what they’re saying.

What to do if someone is struggling to speak

People with dementia may find it hard to speak as the condition progresses. It can be frustrating for your loved one when they cannot find the right way to communicate with you. So, it’s crucial to encourage them to say whatever they can positively. This will help them feel less worried about speaking and will enable them to communicate with you.

It is also essential to remain calm, as they might need extra time to respond or to find the right words they want to say.

You could also try rephrasing questions if your loved one doesn’t seem to understand the question. Alternatively, you could offer simple options to avoid leaving a question open to interpretation, which can lead to multiple answers.

If they respond to your question but don’t provide a clear answer, you could try encouraging them to elaborate on the topic. This could lead to your question being answered.

Communicating with someone with dementia who is struggling to speak.

Routine

As short-term memory is affected by dementia, helping your loved one to set up a routine they keep to every week can help them remember what they do each day. So, for example, you could arrange to call or visit them every Wednesday evening.

Listening

If your loved one has dementia, as their condition progresses, you may need to listen more attentively than before so you can understand them.

This is sometimes known as active listening, and there are specific techniques you can try which will help, such as:

Give your full attention when they’re speaking.
Always use eye contact when they’re talking.
Turn off background noise, such as the TV or radio, so that you can concentrate on their words.
If you’re unsure of what they’re trying to tell you, you could check with them what you think they mean. If you have misunderstood them, this gives them the opportunity to correct you.

As well as these general practical tips on how to talk to someone with dementia, as the dementia progresses, so will their ability to communicate. So, we’ve put together these tips on how to communicate during the different stages of dementia.

How to talk in the early stage

During this stage, you’ll probably notice your loved one can still engage in conversation and socialise with their friends. But you might notice that they sometimes struggle to find the right words or tell you a story more than once.

It’s important to be patient and not to interrupt the conversation, even if you think you know what your loved one is trying to say, as with some time and space, they should be able to communicate what they want to say.

If you’ve noticed your loved one no longer seems happy doing everything they used to do, check with them what they feel comfortable doing and help them make changes to their routine if they would like help.

Keep involving your loved one in the conversation, rather than speaking to another family member or caregiver on their behalf.

Talking in the middle stage

This stage usually lasts for the longest amount of time. During the middle stage, you might notice that you need to adapt how you talk to your loved one in the early stage as they start to struggle to communicate with you.

At this stage, you may find it helpful to keep good eye contact while you speak and speak clearly and slowly. Group conversations might now be too challenging, so it will probably be easier to talk to your loved one on your own somewhere quiet.

If you ask your loved one any questions, only ask one at a time and wait for them to answer before asking another one, as this can be confusing for them to respond. And if you give any instructions, you could try explaining one at a time or writing them down and going through them together.

Your loved one might get confused and frustrated trying to communicate, so it’s important to avoid arguing, maintaining a calm tone of voice if you can. Or you might find that changing the conversation or what you were both doing, could help calm them down.

Talking to someone in the middle stage of dementia.

Music & Art Therapy for communication

Music can be a powerful tool. Studies have shown that music may reduce agitation and improve behavioural issues that are common in the middle stages of the disease. Even in the late stages of Alzheimer's, a person may be able to tap a beat or sing lyrics to a childhood song. Music provides a way to connect, even after verbal communication has become challenging.

Art projects can create a sense of accomplishment and purpose. They can provide a person with dementia, as well as their carers, with an opportunity for self-expression.

Source: www.dementia.com.au

Talking in the late stage

Once your loved one reaches the late stage of dementia, you may find there is very little verbal communication, and they are now receiving full-time dementia care. During this stage, you’ll find that using non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions like smiling, eye contact, and touch, is helpful.

You can try to encourage non-verbal communication with your loved one by smiling, pointing or making gestures. Keeping them company is also important, even if you can no longer talk to one another anymore.

While there are some common difficulties when it comes to communicating with someone who has dementia, everyone will experience it uniquely. We hope you may find some of our suggestions for how to talk to someone with dementia helpful, and we’d love to hear if you have any tips that worked with your loved one.

If you would like to find out how we support dementia and Alzheimer’s disease with in-home care, visit our service page.

Or to find out more about dementia support available, visit the Alzheimer’s Association.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What should you not say to someone with dementia?

Avoid correcting them if they say something inaccurate that isn't important, as this can lead to frustration or arguments. Try not to say things like "You just asked that" or "Don't you remember?" as this highlights their memory loss. It's also best to avoid complex questions with too many choices.

How do you handle repetitive questions from someone with dementia?

Patience is key. Answer the question calmly, as if it's the first time you've heard it. Sometimes, writing the answer down on a piece of paper can help. You can also try redirecting the conversation to a pleasant topic or activity after you've answered.

Is it okay to argue with a person who has dementia?

No, it is important to avoid arguing. As the disease progresses, the person may get confused or frustrated, and arguing will only increase their agitation. Instead, maintain a calm tone, validate their feelings, and gently change the subject or redirect their attention to something calming, like listening to music.

How can I communicate when they can no longer speak well?

In the later stages of dementia, non-verbal communication is essential. Use touch, sight, and sound. Smile warmly, make eye contact, and use gestures. You can also communicate through caring actions and simply being present with them. Music and art can also be powerful ways to connect beyond words.

Get in touch

Emergency? We’re available 24/7 for our clients… Call: 02 9343 0880 or Email: care@careforfamily.com.au